I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize
