Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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