well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
