Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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