Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
