So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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