It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize