no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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