I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
