You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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