We're facebook friends in real life
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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