The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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