piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
