dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
