Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
