VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
