Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
