I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
