Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
