I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
