He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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