i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize