Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
