Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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