She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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