who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
