You're so nebulous sometimes
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
