he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
