Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
