I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
