I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
