had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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