Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
