I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fuck appropriateness.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
