I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
