so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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