So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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