Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
