Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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