Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
