i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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