I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
