So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
