Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
