you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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