You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
