rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
