She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize