Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
