yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
