what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize