She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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