Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just forgot I was standing up.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
