It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
