No more Irish car bombs ever.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
