Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
